Stress and how to cope with it

Everyone feels stressed at times. You may feel under pressure, worried, tense, upset, sad, or angry - or maybe a mixture of uncomfortable feelings. There are many ordinary situations that can make you feel stressed. For example, your school work may pile up, preparing for exams may seem as if it's taking forever, you may be being teased or bullied at school, or having problems with teachers. At home you may be arguing with parents, brothers or sisters, or close friends.

 

What should I do if things are getting on top of me at school?

Firstly get an accurate picture of the situation.  Talk to someone who knows your work and the standards required, and get their opinion.  You may be worrying unnecessarily and getting things out of perspective.  Never bottle things up as this is guaranteed to make them feel much worse.  If you are struggling talk to someone and make a plan of action.  Once you have a plan you will feel less anxious and more in control.

The good news is that you can learn to manage anxiety more effectively and to strengthen revision and exam skills.

 

The effects of stress

Stress can affect you physically. Your body is designed to be able to cope with stresses such as danger, illness and emergencies. This is called your `fight or flight' instinct, where hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol gear your body up to cope with immediate stressful situations. For example, if you accidentally step into the road when a car is coming, adrenaline will pump around your body enabling you to jump out of the way of the car - this is your `flight' instinct coming into play in a short-lived stressful situation. Your body is less able to cope with longer-lasting pressure. This can make you feel tired, make you go off your food, or eat more than usual, or you might be finding it difficult to sleep. You may get stomach aches or headaches or other physical symptoms.

Stress can affect you mentally as well as physically. You may find it hard to keep your mind on your work, to cope with frustration or to control your temper. You might start to feel very low in your mood or find yourself crying more.  Stress that goes on for a long time can be exhausting.

Understanding and support from other people can make it much easier to cope. If you have someone you can trust to talk to, this can help.  Feeling alone makes it harder

 

The Vicious Circle of Stress

The secret to effective stress management lies in understanding how stress causes a Vicious Circle to develop which is constantly activated by more stress.

Stress in small doses can be quite liberating; makes people feel excited and it can help get things done but if it continues for too long, it can become chronic which can negatively affect us emotionally, mentally and physically.

Stress is generated from our reactions to two sources – internal pressure and external pressure.

 

Internal pressure

Internal pressure is unique to each person as everyone perceives pressure differently.  Our personality and background leads us to form different expectations about ourselves, our lives and what is acceptable.  These are called ‘Beliefs’.  Examples of beliefs a person could include:

• ‘I must be successful’, ‘I need others to like me’, ‘I must be good’ ‘I must be the best in my class at all costs’
• We each have an internal dialogue that, if negative, can keep us in a constant state of misery.

These beliefs can push us into stress because we want to live up to our expectations of ourselves.  If we perceive this is not happening we can feel as if  we cannot cope, which activates stress.

 

External pressure

Many environmental factors can be perceived as pressure and these are unique to the individual. Examples include:

• Difficult family/home life – one thing after another – constant triggers
• Relationship issues
• Friendship crisis
• Financial worries
• Peer pressure

It is important to note with stress that something internal or external does not have to actually happen – the fear or expectation of something bad happening can be enough to cause serious stress.

Stress activates the body’s fight or flight response which means that stress hormones such as adrenaline and nor-adrenaline are being sent around the body. The brain is physically affected by the stress hormones and becomes over-sensitive to the slightest stressor.  This activates the stress response again.

As well as this, stress enhances the body’s ability to learn.  This is called ‘Implicit Memory’.  The body learns to respond automatically by becoming stressed in any situation. Once Stress has been learnt through its implicit memory, the body can continue the stress loop without the conscious brain being involved.  A Vicious Circle can form. 

The only way you can get out of this Vicious Cycle is to firstly recognise and accept that this happens for you.  Becoming aware of your emotions and moods gives you a chance to tune into your own unique internal dialogue, your self-talk, and make a plan to challenge it.  This combined with learning a breathing technique (see below) will give you some positive options rather than sinking into stress.

When anxiety gets really strong, you might experience what we call a “panic attack”. This is when your body is getting ready to fight, freeze or to run away from the situation that we are viewing as dangerous. This is known as the fight, flight or freeze response. Again, it can be quite scary to experience, although we know that it will not hurt you.

One of the ways to reduce the anxiety that you are feeling is to understand it better. By understanding how anxiety works, you can then understand why you feel that way and it will help you to break the vicious circle of anxiety that just makes things worse. The picture below can help to explain what happens when we get anxious.

 

Learn how to relax mind and body

Relaxation is crucial, not just at exam time, but throughout life.  Using relaxation skills and breathing techniques can help you before and during an exam, or other stressful, situation to keep calm, be alert and to think.

Altering your breathing will optimise oxygen uptake, helping the brain to be alert.

Breathing technique –

• Sit in a chair in a relaxed position with both feet touching the floor, scrunch your shoulders up towards your ears and then let them drop down so that they feel loose and relaxed.   Consciously decide to relax.  
• Once you feel yourself relax a little begin to focus on your breathing: breath in through your nose for a count of 4 then breath out through your mouth for a count of 4 – blow out the air gently, be conscious of it leaving your body. 
• Do this fairly slowly. Repeat this pattern 5 or 6 times or as many times as needed.

This will help you to relax!  Use this technique whenever you feel yourself becoming overly anxious or worried or just need to relax a little.

 

What should I do if things are getting on top of me at school?

Firstly get an accurate picture of the situation.  Talk to someone who knows your work and the standards required, and get their opinion.  You may be worrying unnecessarily and getting things out of perspective.  Never bottle things up as this is guaranteed to make them feel much worse.  If you are struggling talk to someone and make a plan of action.  Once you have a plan you will feel less anxious and more in control.

If your stress levels rise too high, for too long it can be harmful both to you and your chances of exam success.  Everybody's stress threshold is different.  A situation that is too much for one person to tolerate may be stimulating to another.  Controlled at the right level, however, stress can work to your advantage, because it can help you to produce your peak performance.

Anxiety is a normal reaction to a stressful situation.  Most people experience some anxiety and tension about preparing for and sitting exams. A certain amount of adrenalin flowing is useful and appropriate, a spur to being alert, to concentrating fully and to performing well. Too much anxiety, however, can be debilitating and accompanied by unpleasant feelings, sleep disturbance and physical symptoms such as headaches, sickness, shakiness. Noticing these symptoms might add to your worrying, which can also use up a lot of energy.  The good news is that you can learn to manage anxiety more effectively and to strengthen revision and exam skills.

 

What if it all gets too much?  Where can I get help if I need to?

Sometimes stress gets on top of you. Especially when the situation causing the stress goes on and on, and the problems just seem to keep building up. You can feel trapped, as if there is no way out and no solution to your problems. If you feel like this, it is important to get help.

• People you might decide to talk to:
• Parents, a family member or family friend
• A close friend or carer
• Your Head of Year, teacher or school counsellor
• Someone from the Samaritans (08457 909090)
• Childline 0800 1111
• GP or Practice Nurse

 

When is it more serious?   You need to get help if...

• You feel that stress is affecting your health
• You feel so desperate that you think about stopping school or running away
• You feel low, sad, tearful, or that life is not worth living
• You start smoking, using illegal drugs or drinking heavily to numb your feelings
• You lose your appetite
• You find it difficult to sleep
• You are self-harming as a way of coping with intense emotions
• You have worries, feelings and thoughts that are hard to talk about because you feel people won't understand you or will think you are `weird'
• Stress is making you hear voices telling you what to do, or making you behave strangely.

 

Top Stress busting tips

• Get lots of sleep
• Drink plenty of water
• Avoid excess caffeine
• Avoid alcohol and nicotine altogether
• Avoid illegal drugs
• Say NO without feeling guilty
• Exercise when you can
• Practise deep breathing techniques
• Talk to a friend or an understanding adult – offload your feelings
• Take a break from stressful situations – listen to music, walk away
• Visualise or rehearse stressful situations in your mind ahead of time – see yourself over & over how you want to be
• Break tasks (like revision) into small manageable chunks
• Believe in yourself!
• Shout STOP when you hear negative self-talk
• Acknowledge and celebrate successes (however small)
• Laugh!  Watch a funny film
• Keep a journal and each night write down your thoughts and feelings so they are no longer chasing around in your head

 

The Stress Test